People say time helps.
But sometimes time feels cruel.
Every day that passes is another day since I heard your voice.
Another day since I saw your face.
Another day since you were here and life still made sense.
The world sees time passing as progress. They think the more time that comes between then and now, the easier this should become.
But they don’t understand what that time means to me.
It means the last day I spent with you keeps getting farther away.
The memories that once felt so clear are memories I now have to fight to hold onto.
I find myself trying to remember the smallest things.
The exact sound of your laugh.
The way you said my name.
The things you always said.
The look on your face when you were trying not to laugh.
And when I can’t remember every detail, it scares me.
Because time doesn’t only move me forward.
It moves me farther from the last time you were here.
I know I’m supposed to keep living. I know I can’t stop time from moving forward. I know there will be more birthdays, more holidays, and more moments you should have been here for.
But sometimes I want time to stop.
Not because I want to stay in the pain.
Because I don’t want any more distance between us.
I don’t want the world to treat you like someone who belongs only to my past.
I don’t want our life together to feel like something that happened in another version of my life.
You are still part of me.
Still part of the way I think.
Still part of every decision I make and every step I take into a future I never imagined without you.
People say time helps.
Maybe in some ways it does.
But they never tell you how hard it is to keep moving forward when every step takes you farther from the last time you were together.
If these words connected with you, you’ll find many more like them in What Remains. It’s a collection of the writings I’ve shared over the years, bringing together reflections on grief, love, loss, and the connections that continue long after someone is gone.
I hope it brings you comfort, understanding, and the reminder that you’re not alone.
If you’d like to read more, you can find the book here
Available now on Amazon