Trying to Hold it Together for You
Some days, it feels impossible.
The weight of grief presses so heavy I can barely breathe.
I want to collapse, to scream, to let the world see just how shattered I really am.
But then I think of you.
And I force myself to stand up when I’d rather fall.
I force myself to keep moving when all I want is to stay curled up in the dark.
I try to hold it together—for you.
Because you were strong.
Because you showed me how to keep going even when life was cruel and unfair.
Because the love you gave me deserves more than me giving up.
So, I stand a little taller, even when my knees are buckling.
I dry the tears, even though they never really stop.
I smile at the world, even when inside I’m still breaking.
It’s not because I’m brave.
It’s not because I’ve “healed.”
It’s because I carry you with me, and I want to make you proud.
The truth is—I don’t always get it right.
I’m not always strong.
Most of the time I’m still just surviving.
But every bit of strength I can find…
every breath I can take when it feels impossible…
is for you.
Because of you.
With you.