There Is No Going Back

People talk about “getting back to normal,” and I don’t know what that means anymore.

I can’t go back.
I can’t return to who I was before they died.
That person is gone.

My life probably looks much the same to people on the outside.
But inside, everything has changed.

I question things I never questioned before.

I notice things I never noticed before.

I worry about things I never used to think about.

And I don’t move through life with the same certainty I once had.

There are moments when I wish I could go back.
Back to the person who hadn’t experienced this kind of loss.
Back to the version of me who believed life would keep unfolding the way I expected.

But that person isn’t coming back.

This isn’t something I can leave behind.

It’s part of who I am now.

I am still me.
But I’m not the same person I was before loss.

Loving someone changes your life.
Losing them changes you too.

If these words connected with you, you’ll find many more like them in What Remains. It’s a collection of the writings I’ve shared over the years, bringing together reflections on grief, love, loss, and the connections that continue long after someone is gone.

I hope it brings you comfort, understanding, and the reminder that you’re not alone.

If you’d like to read more, you can find the book here

Available now on Amazon