There’s a version of you that still lives in the life you had before the loss —
where your days made sense,
where the person you loved was still right there,
where you didn’t have to think so hard just to feel like yourself.
And then there’s the version of you that wakes up in this new reality —
the one you never asked for,
the one you’d undo in a heartbeat if you could.
You try to look like you’re here,
but it all feels wrong —
like you’re walking around with a heart that doesn’t know which world it belongs to anymore.
Because part of you is still back there,
in the life that felt safe,
in the memories that still feel warm,
in the moments when everything felt possible.
And part of you is stuck here,
in the after,
trying to figure out how to live a life you never wanted,
trying to make decisions with a heart that’s still broken,
trying to breathe through days that feel too sharp,
too empty,
too nothing-like-the-life-you-had.
That’s the split heart —
loving what was,
living in what is,
trying to survive the space in between.
If these words connected with you, you’ll find many more like them in What Remains. It’s a collection of the writings I’ve shared over the years, bringing together reflections on grief, love, loss, and the connections that continue long after someone is gone.
I hope it brings you comfort, understanding, and the reminder that you’re not alone.
If you’d like to read more, you can find the book here
Available now on Amazon