The Split Heart

There’s a version of you that still lives in the life you had before the loss —
where your days made sense,
where the person you loved was still right there,
where you didn’t have to think so hard just to feel like yourself.

And then there’s the version of you that wakes up in this new reality —
the one you never asked for,
the one you’d undo in a heartbeat if you could.
You try to look like you’re here,
but it all feels wrong —
like you’re walking around with a heart that doesn’t know which world it belongs to anymore.

Because part of you is still back there,
in the life that felt safe,
in the memories that still feel warm,
in the moments when everything felt possible.

And part of you is stuck here,
in the after,
trying to figure out how to live a life you never wanted,
trying to make decisions with a heart that’s still broken,
trying to breathe through days that feel too sharp,
too empty,
too nothing-like-the-life-you-had.

That’s the split heart —
loving what was,
living in what is,
trying to survive the space in between.

If you’ve enjoyed my writing here, What Remains brings together many of my most meaningful pieces in one place. It’s a collection of writings about grief, love, loss, and the lasting connections that remain.

Available now on Amazon.