I'm Okay. And I'm Not

People ask how I’m doing

Here’s the truth.

I’m okay. And I’m not.

I’m okay because I’ve figured out how to carry on. I’ve built a life around this loss — found ways to function, to laugh again, to keep going.

But I’m not okay because some days I still can’t believe this is the life I’m living now. There are still things I want to tell them. Conversations I started in my head that never get finished.

There are days I’d give anything to go back to who I was before — before I knew what this kind of loss felt like.

And there are moments I look around at my life and think: this isn’t how the story was supposed to go.

So, when someone asks if I’m okay, I never know what to say. Because the honest answer is both. Both things are true at once.

Grief doesn’t ask you to pick a side. It doesn’t hand you “okay” or “not okay” and make you choose.

Most days, it’s both. At the same time. In the same breath.

And that might be the hardest part to explain to anyone who hasn’t lived inside it.

If you’ve enjoyed my writing here, What Remains brings together many of my most meaningful pieces in one place. It’s a collection of writings about grief, love, loss, and the lasting connections that remain.

Available now on Amazon