What am I supposed to do with all this love now?
Seriously.
Because I still have all of it.
You died.
My love for you didn’t.
And I don’t think I was prepared for how hard that would be.
I wake up loving you.
I go to bed loving you.
I love you on the days I can’t stop crying.
I love you on the days I somehow make it through.
I love you when I’m angry that you’re gone.
I love you when I still can’t believe you’re gone.
I love you just as much as I did when you were here.
That’s the problem.
Because you aren’t here.
And somehow, I’m supposed to keep living without you while still loving you just as much as I always have.
Nothing about losing you changed that.
I still love you.
Every day.
And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to love someone this much for the rest of my life and never see them again.
Maybe that’s the part I still can’t wrap my head around.
You stopped living.
But I never stopped loving you.
And I don’t think I ever will.
If these words connected with you, you’ll find many more like them in What Remains. It’s a collection of the writings I’ve shared over the years, bringing together reflections on grief, love, loss, and the connections that continue long after someone is gone.
I hope it brings you comfort, understanding, and the reminder that you’re not alone.
If you’d like to read more, you can find the book here
Available now on Amazon