I know you wanted more time with me.
I wanted more time with you, too.
We weren’t finished. There were things we were supposed to do. Conversations we never got to have. Days we thought we could count on.
I know you’re still angry about that.
I know there are nights you cry because you’re tired of figuring out how to live without me. And mornings when you open your eyes and remember that you have to do it again.
I wish I could be there for those.
I wish you could tell me how bad it is and hear me answer.
I can’t change what happened. And I’m not going to tell you to stop being sad about it.
I know why you’re sad.
We had a life together. I was supposed to be in yours longer.
But you’re still here.
And I still want good things for you.
I want you to have something to look forward to. To make plans because you want to go, instead of saying yes so people will stop worrying.
I want you to laugh so hard you have to catch your breath. And when you realize you haven’t thought about me for a few hours, I don’t want that to ruin the rest of your day.
You haven’t forgotten me.
You had a few good hours.
I want you to have more of them.
I know you’d choose having me back over any of it. You don’t have to explain that.
But this is the life you have, even though it isn’t the one we wanted.
And I hate to think of you believing that all the good ended with me.
There are people you haven’t met yet who will be so glad they know you. Things you’ll try and wonder why you waited so long. Days you’ll wish you could tell me about because you were happy.
I want those days for you.
Even if you cry afterward because I wasn’t there.
I loved being part of your life.
I would have stayed for all of it if I could.
And I know it’s hard to believe there’s still so much good ahead of you.
But I want you to enjoy your life again. Even while you miss me.
If these words connected with you, you’ll find many more like them in What Remains. It’s a collection of the writings I’ve shared over the years, bringing together reflections on grief, love, loss, and the connections that continue long after someone is gone.
I hope it brings you comfort, understanding, and the reminder that you’re not alone.
If you’d like to read more, you can find the book here
Available now on Amazon
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