There is something incredibly hard about knowing another goodbye is coming.
Knowing you are going to lose someone you love.
Knowing there is nothing you can do to change what is happening.
And sometimes, while you’re trying to deal with the loss in front of you, it starts bringing back pieces of the losses that came before it.
The decisions you didn’t want to make.
Watching someone you love struggle.
Seeing the people you love hurting too and wishing you could somehow take that part away from them.
That feeling of knowing there isn’t a way to fix what is happening.
And suddenly, you’re not only dealing with what’s happening right now. You’re remembering other times you sat in that same helpless place. Other decisions. Other goodbyes. Other moments when loving someone meant having absolutely no control over what came next.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.
We talk about grief as though every loss gets its own separate space in our lives. But I don’t think it always works that way.
Sometimes one loss reaches back and touches another.
Sometimes what hurts today reminds you of what hurt years ago.
And sometimes you realize that even after all the healing you’ve done, there are still experiences that can take you right back to a version of yourself who remembers exactly how hard this is.
So, if something you’re going through right now has brought old grief back with it, give yourself some grace.
You aren’t starting over.
You’re just human.
And sometimes loving deeply means there are going to be days that are really, really hard.
If these words connected with you, you’ll find many more like them in What Remains. It’s a collection of the writings I’ve shared over the years, bringing together reflections on grief, love, loss, and the connections that continue long after someone is gone.
I hope it brings you comfort, understanding, and the reminder that you’re not alone.
If you’d like to read more, you can find the book here
Available now on Amazon